Black Ice
by MicroSpider
Summary: China-May Fury. Commander Banner of SHIELD. Wife of Director Fury. Daughter of the Hulk. A dangerous combination of titles with a lot of different strings attached, especially when a freaky alien Demigod is out for blood and power. But then again. She is Black Ice.
1. Prolouge

**Prologue**

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**A.N. Hi! This is a story I've had on hold on Wattpad for a while now and I thought I'd post it on here too because it's got quite a fair amount of reads on there! So I hope you like it, I have up to around ten more chapters already written to be posted on here, so if you like it, you know how to tell me you want more! Rating may change, be warned.**

**Read+Review=Chapters XD**

**MicroSpider XD**

**P.S. If any of my Shot Down In Flames readers are reading this, I'm sorry for not posting another chapter yet, writers block...**

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My name's China-May Fury.

At work I'm known as Agent Banner, my maiden name and in the field, my code name is Black Ice or Commander Banner.

I have another side of me that I like the call, She-Hulk or Shulkie, but let's skip that bit for now.

As you can tell from my names, I'm married to Director Nick Fury of SHIELD. And I'm also the daughter of Dr Bruce Banner, AKA The Hulk.

Yes. The Hulk is my Dad. Well, technically Bruce is my Dad seeing as I've never personally met the Hulk, but I'm guessing big green's not the fatherly type.

Long story short; A few weeks after my Dad was exposed to this Gamma Radiation stuff, I was hit by an ice cream truck; one of the many reasons I'm called Black Ice. He donated blood to me, which caused me to 'Hulk Out' while also mending my body.

Of course he had forgotten about the side effects at the time when he donated the blood, but he did effectively save my life.

So all was forgiven.

Anyways...

Back to me!

As I said, my name is China-May Fury, I'm 30 years old.

I have long, wavy caramel low-lighted dark brown hair. Narrow hazel eyes that work with my Hispanic features and tanned olive skin. My cheekbones are (as my elderly friend Peggy Carter would say) like marble banisters and my dusk lips always in a pout.

I stand at 5 ft 5" 1/2 inches, while She-Hulk is 10 ft 3" inches; I was measured by some extremely intimidated scientists.

I'm quite curvy, as most Hispanic women are. My bra size is a freaky 36 F cup and a I have a round butt that even implants couldn't achieve.

Unfortunately, because of my 'Angry Green Condition' underneath my clothes I almost permanently wear a stretchy suit. The suit looks like a dark navy short sleeved deep v neck swimming costume, with a SHIELD emblem on the back.

I soon realized that I shouldn't just wear it casually around the Helicarrier after one of the elder gentleman agents passed out.

Poor Stan... Although it was rather amusing when he fell off his chair onto third in Command Agent Hill. She poured her coffee all down her jumpsuit.

That's completely irrelevant, back on topic now.

Unlike my father I can actually control my Hulk to some extent. I have full power over my mind while in that form, unless I get seriously pissed and just start smashing things. Like father like daughter, huh.

The Helicarrier Doctors have concluded that I can have control because I only have a small amount of Gamma Radiation running through my veins and in my DNA.

Yet, on the field I still prefer to use weapons instead of my big green self if I can help it. They make me feel more human. Or at least, human enough.

Some of you are probably wondering how I'm married to Nick Fury, while my father has no idea who SHIELD are.

Truth is that he stopped me from blowing my brains out.

After getting really hormonal on my monthly flow, I smashed up my neighbors RV- The stupid think shouldn't have been parked out front of my house!- then once I'd calmed down, I freaked out as most people would do in the predicament I was in and put the barrel of a gun to my head.

Nick had one of his creepy spies following me around and when he was informed of the situation I was in, he rushed down to my house, confiscated the gun and offered me a job.

The rest is history...

I must confess though.

I havent seen my Dad for four years.

He doesn't know where I live.

He doesn't even know I'm married to the Nick Fury.

That's all about to change.


	2. Leather and Gamma Radiation

**Leather and Gamma Radiation**

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**A.N. Hi! This is the first actual chapter here! I hope ya'll like it! **

**Read+Review+Follow=Chapters XD**

**MicroSpider XD**

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Sometimes it's great fun working as a SHEILD Agent, seeing as I'm not just Second in Command, but I'm Second in Command to my Husband.

Director Nick Fury.

But right now as I march down underground corridors wearing; My black Restless N Wild Chain Neck vest, black Jist Skull Split Leg skinny jeans, thigh length sleeveless leather jacket and pair of way too big Demonia Truck 200 Boots.

Along with the guns strapped to my thighs, wide leather cuffs around my wrists and neck, 9 ear studs, nose stud and my hair in a long fishtail braid.

It isn't so great, especially when a blue cube thing keeps spazing out for no apparent reason.

We were finally approached by Agent Phil Coulson, who walked along with us, "How bad is it?" asked Nick, cautiously,

Agent Coulson just frowned leading us down some stairs, "That's the problem, sir. We don't know," he stated, "Dr. Selvig read an energy surge from the Tesseract four hour ago."

Nick didn't look pleased at all, "NASA didn't authorize Selvig to test the Tesseract."

"He wasn't testing it, he wasn't even in the room," explained Phil, "Spontaneous advancement".

Okay that's just weird.

"It just turned itself on?" I questioned, switching my gaze between them.

Nick nodded in thought, "What are the reading levels now?"

Agent Coulson looked a bit worried, "Climbing. When Selvig couldn't shut it down, we ordered the evac."

I nodded, evac was the right way to go, "How long to get everyone out?"

"Campus should be clear in the next half hour," replied the Agent.

"Do better," concluded my husband.

Quickly our Third in Command Agent Maria Hill hurried over, "Sir, evacuation maybe futile!"

"We should tell them to go back to sleep?" Nick asked sarcastically.

"If we can't control the Tesseract's energy, there may not be a minimum safe distance."

I tightened jaw, "We need you to make sure that phase 2 prototypes are shipped out."

Agent Hill frowned, "Is that really a priority right now?"

"Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on. Clear out the tech below. Every piece of phase 2 on a truck and gone," Nick demanded.

"Yes, sir," replied Agent Hill hurrying off.

I scowled at her back as she walked, "Why does that bloody woman never listen to anything I say?"

"Agent Hill doesn't respond well to the orders off females, you've read her file Baby. She needs to warm up to you," Nick concluded, he didn't really like her either.

"She needs to get that stick out of her ass, more like," I muttered.

She just wishes she was second in command.

We quickly entered the lab facility where the Tesseract was being held and under processing.

Nick walked us over to Dr Selvig, "Talk to me, doctor."

Dr Selvig looked up from his screens, "Director. Agent Banner."

"Is there anything we know for certain?" questioned Nick.

"Tesseract is misbehaving," stated the Dr.

I raised an eyebrow, "Is that supposed to be funny?" I asked quizzically.

"No, it's not funny at all. The Tesseract is not only active, she's...misbehaving" Selvig said hesitantly.

"How soon until you pull the plug?"

"She's an energy source. If we turn off the power, she turns it back on. If she reaches peak level..." Selvig drifted off.

Nick shook his head, "We've prepared for this, doctor. Harnessing energy from space."

Selvig sighed and went back to pressing buttons, "We don't have the harness. Our calculations are far from complete. Now she's throwing off interference, radiation. Nothing harmful, low levels of gamma radiation."

I flinched at the words 'Gamma' and 'Radiation'.

I really hated those two word in the same sentence. I may be okay with what I am, but it still pinches slightly to hear the words Gamma Radiation, seeing as that's what makes me have my Shulkie moments.

Nick sensed this and rubbed my back slightly in comfort, "That can be harmful" he replied to the Doctor, who gave me a slight apologetic grimace.

I quickly dismissed it, "Where's Agent Barton?" I asked the old man.


	3. Creepy Gods and Bullet Wounds

**Creepy Gods and Bullet Wounds**

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**A.N. Hola readers! How are you guys? Nice Easter? Still eating chocolate? I know I am! XD So here's another chapter for you because I needed to do something to calm my sugar overload and uploading chapters is good at calming me down for some reason! Anyway I'm babbling!**

**Please review, follow, fave otherwise the Hulk will rampage and believe me, that is never good. Once, I wouldn't make him a hotdog fast enough and...let's just say he isn't a patient guy...**

**MicroSpider XD**

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Selvig pointed up behind him, "The Hawk? Up in his nest, as usual."

I could see the outline of Agent Barton up on the railings watching us below, Nick called Barton on his earpiece, "Agent Barton, report to me."

Clint hastily swung, flipped down from the railings above us and approached us.

Nick frowned, "I gave you this detail so you could keep a close eye on things."

"Well I see better from a distance," reasoned the Hawk.

"Are you seeing anything that might set this thing off?"

"Doctor, it's spiking again!" called out a NASA scientist behind us.

"No one's come or gone. It's oven is clean. No contacts, no I.M.'s. If there was any tampering, sir, it wasn't at this end," Clint shrugged.

"At this end?" Nick and I questioned together.

Aww we're so in sync.

Clint shrugged again, "Yeah, the cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right? The door's open from both sides."

Suddenly a blinding blue light flickered momentarily.

The Tesseract, activated and opened what seemed to be a portal through space.

Then a man in green, silver and gold armour appeared, holding a long weapon.

I was pushed halfway behind Nick by himself, "Sir, please put down the spear!"

The man looked at his spear then suddenly pointed it at where the three of us were standing.

Everything erupted into blue lights and gun fire.

I unholstered my gun and pointed it at the man who now had a grip on Agent Barton.

"You have heart," spoke the black haired man.

He pointed the head of his spear at Barton's heart, who's eyes clouded over in a vibrant blue haze.

I...don't think it's a spear. Magic wand, staff or maybe a scepter, but not a spear.

As the man started doing the same thing to other personnel, I slipped over to where the Tesseract was in its place and placed it into a thick case.

The creepy guy grinned at me, "Please don't. I still need that."

Nick moved over to my side, keeping eye contact with him, "This doesn't have to get any messier."

Scepter guy smirked, "Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else. I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose."

Oh so that's his name and oh goody he's from Asgard!

Note sarcasm.

Dr Selvig's eyes widened in realization, "Loki? Brother of Thor?"

"We have no quarrel with your people," Nick spoke calmly as I gripped the case harder.

"An ant has no quarrel with a boot," Loki countered.

"You planning to step on us?" I questioned Loki who now, was staring at my chest.

Great...

Punk ass demi-god...

Not even a full god!

Loki smiled widely, "I come with glad tidings, of a world made free."

"Free from what?"

Loki's expression changed, "Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart..."

He turned to face Dr Selvig and once again tapped the scepter to the elderly man's chest, who's eyes also clouded over.

Leaving myself and my husband the only people in the room without, weird blue eyes, deadness or a creepy god.

"You will know peace."

"Yeah, you say peace, I kind of think you mean the other piece," Nick spoke.

Clint walked over to Loki, "Sir, Director Fury and his wife are stalling. This place is about to blow. Drop a hundred feet of raw material, they mean to bury us.

"Like The Pharaohs of Odin."

Selvig spoke up, "He's right, the portal is collapsing in on itself. You got maybe two minutes before this goes critical."

"Drop them," Loki commanded Hawkeye.

Before we could do anything Barton shot Nick in the chest and me in the shoulder, before he picked up the case then made off with Loki and their new possé.

Suddenly my vision flashed green, shocks vibrated through my body, blood and radiation pulsing through my veins.

I snapped my eyes closed as I waited for the pain to cease while my body popped from my clothes.

Slowly the pain faded and I flickered my eyes open again.

Now I was green.

I pushed myself up off the floor and saw the remains of my clothes.

Oh thank the gods I decided to wear my stretchy suit underneath! And with very large boots too.

I pulled Nick up from the floor, "They have the Tesseract!" I cried and grabbed Nick's now smaller hand, that wasn't grasping his walkie-Talkie.

"Hill, do you copy? Barton is..." Nick yelled into he small device.

I heard shots in the back ground.

"He's got the Tesseract! Track it down!" I yelled at the woman through the com.

We scrambled into a truck and sped off out of the tunnel.

The edges of my vision started to haze.

Not only did I transform in a spilt second, but I had a bullet lodged into my shoulder.

The bullet wouldn't kill me, in fact I would heal within an hour of removing it, but the mixture of the two would incapacitate me for a brief amount of time.

I really need to see if there's such a thing as stretch Kevlar.

"Nick.." I whispered out.

"China? Wh-" he answered partly before I slowly started to shrink down to normal size, my vision and brain suddenly switching off...


	4. Kisses and Quinjets

**Kisses and Quinjets**

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**A.N. Hello people! So this chapter is just a filler! Hope you like and remember. The Hulk will smash you if you don't review, face or follow. Don't make him angry, you won't like him when he's angry. XD **

**MicroSpider XD**

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I hate hospitals.

Thank the gods I could feel the familiarity of the mattress underneath me.

But don't thank the crazy demigod. He doesn't deserve to be thanked, killing and kidnapping my Agents! What a twat!

"-yes Coulson, China's fine. She'll be able to recruite Dr Banner once she's woken. I'll inform you so you can communicate with Agent Romanoff," Nick told Coulson through his com.

I pushed myself slowly off the mattress as not to get head rush, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

Groaning, I pushed my fringe back from my face and slid the strap of my black silk nightie back onto my shoulder, "How long have i been out?" I asked in a husky voice.

Wait. Who changed me?

"Little over three hours," replied my husband who handed me a glass of water.

I quickly took a sip, "It's really gotten bad enough that we need to bring in the Hulk?"

"Loki has taken the Tesseract and Agent Barton along with a handful of NASA scientists, including Erik Selvig, are under some form of mind control," he stated sitting down beside me, making the mattress dip slightly.

I nodded slowly, consuming the information, "I haven't seen my Dad for four years, this should be a fun family reunion," I smirked, placing my water on the bedside table.

"Coulson thinks it would be wise if we sent Agent Romanoff in first," he told me, pushing my hair behind my ears.

Nodding in agreement I slid off the bed

"Fine. But no SWAT teams. That will only anger him further. I'll only intrude if needs be," I pulled open a closet door and yanked out a few cloth strung hangers.

Nick smiled, "Your call, you know Dr Banner better than myself or Agent Romanoff."

"He may be my father but I don't know him as well as people think I do," I admitted, "But I know that if I were him, I wouldn't want to be surrounded with a SWAT team."

"Agreed, a SWAT team in Calcutta wouldn't be subtle."

I smiled softly, "Thank You" I pulled him into a soft kiss.

I released his lips from my hold and looked over the contents of my wardrobe.

"I still don't know why my body's immediate self-defense reaction is to 'Hulk out. In some ways the change is actually worse than being shot, not to mention that I turn green," I complained, noticing the bullet wound wasn't there.

Okay so the ultra healing is a plus side.

Suddenly my hips were in cased, "Green or not, your still smart and beautiful. Like I told you when we first met, Your unique and people should adapt to you not you to them."

Hah! Like that's ever going to happen!

A small kiss was placed on my neck, "Director Fury. We have Stark on side. Agent Romanoff is ready to go whenever Agent Banner is," Coulson's voice interrupted out of the com.

I groaned inwardly as I was released.

"Agent Coulson. China should be ready to meet Agent Romanoff in 50," Nick responded to the Agent, "No SWAT team shall be deployed."

"Noted."

I sighed quietly.

Turning round, I kissed Nick on the cheek, "You should probably get back to the Bridge."

He kissed my cheek back, "Stay Safe."

"Don't I always?" I joked as he walked out of our bed room.

Hastily, I jumped in the shower, scrubbed myself clean, dried my hair, twisting it up elegantly with my bangs straightened and applied black eyeliner.

I slipped on my stretchy suit along with; My Queen of Darkness Flared Sleeve top, Vixxsin Lean mini skirt, black floral print tights, sleeveless thigh length leather jacket and Funtasma Cop 911 boots.

Along with my wedding ring, seeing as there is no chance that I'll be 'Hulking Out', so it wouldn't get destroyed.

Well then.

Time to have a family reunion I guess.

I marched from the room and down to the aircraft hanger so I could fly myself down to Calcutta.

This is going to be fun!

Note sarcasm...


	5. Sneaking and Agent Banner

**Sneaking and Agent Banner**

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**A.N. Hello! Another chapter! Yay! Whooo! Part-ay! Sorry it's short but I wasn't sure how to do this one and this just sorta happened. **

**Read, review, favourite, follow and remember... **

**I AM IRON MAN**

**(Not kidding that is what my friends call me :P)**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

Just under 40 minutes later I'd arrived and landed the Quinjet in Calcutta, just behind a small hut on the outskirts; of course the jet was in stealth mode for added effect.

Through the headset I could hear Natasha Romanoff talking to my father.

"Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe," She explained to him.

Dad chuckled nervously, "Well, those I actively try to avoid."

I heard the ruffle of clothes, "This is the Tesseract"

She slid the phone across something, "It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet."

"What does Fury want me to do? Swallow it?" Dad chuckled humourlessly.

Natasha laughed under her breath.

Yup, she's thinking about my Dad's reaction when finds out that I'm married to 'Fury'.

"Well, he wants you to find it. It's been taken. It omits a gamma signature that's too weak for us to trace. There's no one that knows gamma radiation like you do. If there was, that's where I'd be," Nat told him.

"So Fury isn't after the monster?" Dad asked unsurely.

"Not that he's told me."

"And he tells you everything?" Dad scoffed rhetorically.

Oh no...

"Talk to Fury, he needs you on this," Agent Romanoff told him firmly.

"He needs me in a cage."

I quickly snuck round the front of the hut.

Nat sucked in a breath, "No one's gonna put you in a-"

Suddenly Dad exploded, "Stop lying to me!"

I heard the snap withdrawral of Romanoff's gun.

I slipped through the front door and a few meters behind were Agent Romanoff had her gun trained on my father.

"I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do. Why don't we do this the easy way, where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay?"

Dad said cauiously raising his hands and retreating back from Nat's gun.

She didn't lower her gun.

I cleared my throat, "Agent Romanoff, stand down," I ordered one of the least annoying Agents.

She slowly lowered her gun as Dad turned round and saw me.

He twisted back round and chuckled to Natasha, "Just you and me?"

I smiled at Natasha, "Agent Romanoff you're dissmissed, Nick needs you on the Helicarrier to get ready for Captain Rogers."

Nat nodded, "Of course Agent Banner" she picked her phone up off the table, exiting the hut.

Dad fidgeted nervously, "So uh, Agent Banner huh?"

I grinned at him , "Yeah, I, uh, met Nick a while back and he offered me a job," I grinned wider, "I'm his right hand woman, Second in Command of SHIELD."

Dad raised his eyebrow in confusion, "Wow, congratulations. You, uh, call Fury, Nick?"

"Yeah," I said nervously, "Anyways, we need to get to the Helicarrier. I parked a Jet out back."

I gestured for Dad to follow me as I left out the back of the hut.

Well I managed to avoid the topic of me being married, but I really should call Nick, Nick, in front of my father. Oh the joys of having a father with fatal mood swings.

Note sarcasm.


	6. Ten Bucks and Location?

**Ten Bucks and Location?**

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**A.N. Hello everybody who reads this story! Enjoy this chapter! Whooo chapter party! **

**Read, review, follow, favourite and I'll pursuade Hulk to do the Harlem Shake on a rollercoaster, because, that would be funny, although he would probably ruin the rollercoaster and I like rollercoasters so that would be sad... But Harlem Shaking Hulk, wouldn't miss it for the world! XD**

**Microspider XD**

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Okay, to say the jet ride to the the Helicarrier was awkward, is a HUGE understatement.

It was full of random questions about the Tesseract file I'd given him and personal questions about how I'd been the past four years.

Not to sound mean or anything, but I couldn't have been happier after I landed the Jet on the Helicarrier and escorted him out.

We stepped out of the jet only to be hit by loud noise and powerful wind.

We were aproached by Captain Steve Rogers, with Agent Romanoff lingering behind him, "Dr. Banner."

Dad shook hands with Steve.

Dad shifted nervously, "Oh, yeah. Hi. China-May told me you'd be coming."

Another thing my father does is call me by my full name. Always China-May. Not China or May. Always China-May. I wouldn't even mind if he decided to call me Lemon Pie or Dumplin' just as long as it didn't sound formal/robotic!

Steve gave me a nod, returning to my father, "Word is you can find the cube"

Dad looked around at the Agents and crew uneasily, "Is that the only word on me?"

"Only word I care about," Steve replied sincerely.

"Must be strange for you, all of this," Dad waved his arms around gesturing to the high-tech planes.

Steve shrugged a little, "Well, this is actually kind of familiar."

Nat approached us before announcing, "Gentlemen, you may wanna step inside in a minute. It's gonna get a little hard to breath."

Suddenly the Helicarrier started to shake preparing to fly.

Steve peered over the edge, "Is this is a submarine?"

Dad chuckled and also looked over the edge, "Really? They want us in a submerged pressurized metal container?" he flickered his gaze over to me.

They both moved even closer to the edge of the Helicarrier and watched in awe as it started to lift into the air.

"Oh, no. This is much worse," Dad joked humorlessly.

I nudged his shoulder with a grin gracing my face, "Dad, you'll be fine. I live on this ship and I haven't managed to send it into chaos. Once or twice, but not everyday!" I reassured him, but now that I think about it, that probably wasn't the best way to do so.

I called to the pair of them to follow me.

Leading them onto the Bridge where Agents were hurrying around bellow Nick.

"Gentlemen," he greeted Dad and Steve, "China."

Steve walked up to my husband and gave him 10 bucks, before wardering off a bit in once again awe.

I strode over to his side and checked the readings on the screen in front, lightly brushing his hand.

Nick smiled briefly and turned to where my Dad, his father-in-law, stood, "Doctor, thank you for coming"

Dad jerked his head, "Thanks for asking nicely. So, uh...how long am I staying?" he questioned the man he didn't know was his son-in-law.

"Once we get our hands on the Tesseract, you're in the clear," I answered him.

"Where are you with that?"

Nick looked pointedly at Coulson to explain.

Agent Coulson appeared closer to us, "We're sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the planet. Cell phones, laptops. If it's connected to a satellite, it's eyes and ears for us."

Natasha gazed up from were she was crouched by a monitor with Agent Barton's face on it, "That's still not gonna find them in time."

She really missed her partner and last time I checked they were nothing more than business partners, but the look on her face was a little more personal.

Dad folded over the sleeves in his jacket, "You have to narrow the field. How many spectrometers do you have access to?"

"How many are there?" Nick and I asked at the same time, freaking him out a bit.

Dad carried on, "Call every lab you know, tell them to put the spectrometers on the roof and calibrate them for gamma rays. I'll rough out a tracking algorithm based on cluster recognition. At least we could rule out a few places. Do you have somewhere for me to work?"

Nick nodded, "Agent Romanoff, would you show Dr. Banner to his laboratory, please."

Natasha got up leading Dad from the Deck,

"You're gonna love it, Doc. We got all the toys."

As we were waiting to locate Loki using satellite facial recognition, I sat on the railing next to Nick's Holo-Monitor.

"How was the flight here?" Nick asked me, not looking up from the monitor.

I sighed, "Awkward. He kept asking me personal questions, so half the time I was pretending to be talking to someone over the headset," I frowned, "Did that sound as bad as I think it did?"

That earned a chuckle, "Yes. Yes it did. Does he know we're married?"

"No. He didn't say anything about my ring even if he did notice and I wasn't sure how to bring it up, I couldn't jus-"

"We got a hit. Sixty seven percent match. Weight, cross match, seventy nine percent," called out Agent Hill.

I hopped up, "Location?" I replied eagerly.

Clint Barton is one of SHIELD'S best and a close friend, we've taken bullets for each other in the field and now we're going to get him back even if it means there are a few casualties along the way.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Konigstrasse. He's not exactly hiding," Hill answered.

Nick turned to Steve who was conversing with his fan boy, Coulson "Captain, you're up."

Steve left abruptly.

I looked up at Nick, "You need me there too?"

"If you can handle 'Hulking up' again within such a small amount of time" he replied, wanting me to choose.

"Stuttgart here I come," I stated, brushing my fingers against his as I left.

Man I hate not being allowed to show affection for one another because it's, 'unproffesional'.

Everyone on this ship knows we're married!

We share a bedroom, wear our wedding rings, have actual conversations with each other, unlike the other Agents (Hill for example) who act like they're stuck with pole up their asses.

But no! We have to keep it strictly professional even though we are in charge of SHIELD!

Although, on the plus side Dad won't get suspicious.


	7. Cap!

**Cap!**

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**A.N. Hello! So another chapter! If y'all review within the first few hours I post this, I'll post the next one! **

**Read, review, follow, favourite! Don't make Hulk angry!**

**MicroSpider XD**

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I quickly hurried to our room.

Once I completely stripped, leaving nothing but my stretch suit; I'm so lucky it doesn't give me a camel toe.

I five strand braided my hair over my shoulder, put on an oversized pair of Demonia Stomp 101 Boots and some fingerless gloves made of the same stretch material.

I flung my other clothes into a wicker hamper at the side of the room.

That should do.

Sprinting, I made my way down to the Jet hanger where I found Captain America and Agent Romanoff.

"Agent Romanoff, Captain," I nodded to them both.

Agent Romanoff nodded too, "Cap we need to start up the Jet, Agent Banner will join us in a few."

Steve looked very confused.

"I need to 'Hulk Up', " I explained to the Captain with a strained smile.

Steve looked from me to the jet and back to me, "Ma'am all due respect, but will the Jet hold up if the She-Hulk' is in it?"

I laughed quietly, "Nick made sure that the Jets could withstand the Hulk,in and if it can withstand the Hulk, it can withstand me."

Steve just nodded and Natasha tugged him onto the Jet.

Well lets get this party started.

I started to shake my arms, raising my pulse. Shocks vibrated through me, pulsing through my veins. I snapped my eyes closed as I waited for them to recede.

Slowly the pain faded and I flickered my eyes open again. Once again, I'm green. Green used to be my favourite colour, now it just bores the Gamma out of me. If only.

I jogged onto the jet and sat down by the Cap as Nat lifted the craft into the air.

After a while, still nobody had said anything, "Man I hate shifting!" ii groaned out, making Steve jump slightly.

I then remembered that i was at work and not some pity party.

Whoops!

I lifted my head so I could see Natasha at the stick, "Agent Romanoff, did Nick give us any base lines for Loki?" I asked her, unsure what else to do in a situation involving me being green in a skimpy suit and sat next to a 90+ year old war hero who's holding off a hard on.

"Yes, Agent Banner, Fury wants us to bring him onboard the Helicarrier for questioning," Nat said over her shoulder, keeping her eyes on the sky at all times, "But we're going to have to keep him in you're lockdown room."

Steve frowned at this, "Ma'am, shouldn't we just terminate Loki?" he directed his question to me.

"No we need to find out what he's done with the Tesseract. As well as Agent Barton and the scientist's," I explained to the war hero.

"Uh. Agent Banner?" Tasha called over her shoulder to me, "I think you should see this!"

I marched to her side.

There in the middle of the square was around 30-40 people kneeling, surrounded by multiple Loki's.

In the center, stood an old man talking, angering the real Loki in front of him.

"Cap!" I shouted behind me.

Steve quickly flipped his mask on, grabbed his shield and Nat dropped the door for him to disappear through aid the innocents.


	8. The Kid's Called Candice?

**The kid's called Candice?**

* * *

**A.N. Howdy y'all! Enjoy!**

**Read, review, follow, favourite! Don't make the Hulk angry!**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

Just in time.

The shot from Loki's scepter ricoched off of Cap's Shield as he jumped in front of the suicidal elderly gentleman, so that it shot back at Loki who then fell upon impact.

"You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing," Cap said smoothly, moving towards Loki through the people.

I ran through the door, jumping down next to the flag clag war hero.

Yes, I did scare the cheese and crackers out of a park full of German natives and tourists.

Well it's not like I could shout, 'Hey big green load coming through! Don't crap yourselves!' down to them first!

Loki smirked, pushing himself up, "The Super spy's monster Wife and The soldier. A man out of time."

Steve smirked a bit smugly, "I'm not the one who's out of time."

Suddenly Natasha appeared visibly overhead in the SHIELD aircraft pointing a very trigger friendly machine gun towards the dumbass god.

Correction. Demigod.

"Loki, drop the weapon and stand down," Natasha's voice rung around us.

All of the Loki's trapping the citizens disappeared.

"Run! Go home! Get out of here!" I shouted at them so they quickly hurried out of harms way.

All of a sudden Loki attacked Steve, blasted him with his scepter and knocked him down. The butt of the scepter pressing into Steve's skull, "Kneel!" Loki demanded.

"Not today!" Steve flipped and knocked him out with his leg.

They started fighting all around, making a huge mess.

I would have helped but I found a wailing baby on the floor. I picked it up hurrying away from Loki's scepter shots, "Hush, sshh it's okay," I whispered to the tiny pink bundled cryer.

A woman stopped before me, her head at my chest area and started flailing her arms, "My baby! Oh! You found Candice!"

Gently I gave her back the child, "Stay safe!" I called as I re joined the fight, too late.

Suddenly a flash of gold and red blasted Loki right back into the pavement.

Stark.

Tony Stark pointed his repulsers at Loki, "Make your move, Reindeer Games."

Loki slowly put up his hands and slowly surrendered to the man in the can with a plan, "Good move" Stark replied, lowering his own hands.

"Mr. Stark" Steve greeted, out of breath.

Tony nodded. Ish.

"Captain."


	9. And Then There Was Two

**And then there was Two**

* * *

**A.N. Hello! Enjoy!**

**Read, review, favourite, follow!**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

When we'd handcuffed Loki and sat him down in the jet I shrunk down again.

Possibly not best when your barely wearing anything. Because Tony Stark realizes how big your boobs are and Steve Rogers has never seen so much skin in his life.

Oh brother...

Agent Romanoff was talking through her headset, telling Coulson that Loki was subdued.

"I don't like it" Steve anounced to myself and Stark.

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?" Tony taunted, leaning against the wall.

"I don't remember it being that easy. This guy packs a wallop" Steve frowned peering over at Loki.

I smiled at them, "Once we reach the Helicarrier, Nick will know what to do," I stated.

Steve raised and eyebrow, "Nick?"

"Director Fury."

"You address him as Nick?" Steve was still puzzled.

"We're married have been the past couple of years. I'm also his Second in Command," I told the two, very proudly.

Stark couldn't care less about my work status or marital, he turned to Cap, "Still, you were pretty spry, for an older fellow. What's your thing? Pilates?"

"What?" Steve asked, confused again.

Tony shrugged, leaning on his arm, "It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle."

"Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in," Cap accused, he faced me, "Neither did you, Ma'am."

"Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you," Stark prodded the super soldier.

Suddenly thunder and lightning started to shake the jet.

"Where's this coming from?" Natasha asked over the thunder.

Steve looked over at Loki, who looked like he was going to crap himself.

"What's the matter? Scared of a little lightning?" Cap folded his arms.

Loki ducked his head, "I'm not overly fond of what follows."

Suddenly a large dent concaved over my head.

Then the door ripped of and a blonde haired man with a hammer grabbed Loki by the scruff and stole him.

"Now there's that guy" Tony secured on his face pannel.

"Another Asgardian?" Natasha shouted over her shoulder.

"Think the guy's a friendly?" Steve asked rhetorically.

"Doesn't matter. If he frees Loki or kills him, the Tesseract's lost."

Stark turned, angling himself at the jets mouth, ready to jump off the jet to chase after Loki and who must be Thor.

"Stark we need a plan of attack!" Cap screamed over the wind and jet propelers.

"I have a plan. Attack" Stark jumped out of the jet to chase after Thor and Loki.

Steve grabbed a parachute to follow them all.

I halted him, "I'd sit this one out, Cap."

"I don't see how I can" he fasened the parachute on himself.

"These guys come from legends, they're basically Gods," I shouted.

He's gonna get himself killed then so am I by everyone in SHIELD, but Nick, who will just be very pissed.

I really don't need to be responsible for and escaped demigod or a dead patriot.

"There's only one God, ma'am. And I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that."

Steve jumped out of the jet to follow Stark chase after Thor and Loki.

And then there were two...


	10. Come On Ladies

**Come on Ladies**

* * *

**A.N. Hey! I'm sorry I didn't update perusal! Sorry! But here's a chapter! I was a bit busy trying to stop the Hulk from destroying my brother.**

**Not surprised that he wanted to destroy my brother, he is a bit of a weirdo and not in the good way. XD**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

Once the fighting had ceased and the males had gotten back onto the jet, we returned to the Helicarrier, were Nat told me I should change.

She wasn't wrong.

Last time I just hung around in my She-Hulk suit all the male Agents stared at me; that is until Nick got jealous and 'accidentally' shot one of them in the foot.

It was kinda cute seeing him jealous though! We weren't even together back then either!

I put on my tight black American Idiot T-Shirt, black and green split leg skinny jeans, my usual long sleeveless leather jacket and my Iron Fist Timmie Chew booties.

I quickly put my hair into a messy fishtail braid, secured on my leather choker, put on a pair of studded leather fingerless gloves over my wedding ring and had my guns strapped into their holsters on my thighs.

Hurriedly I ran onto the Bridge where the Avengers (minus Stark and Barton of course) were watching Nick talking to Loki on the monitors.

I sat down and looked at the monitor.

Nick moved over to the panel, "In case it's unclear, you try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass."

He pressed a button which opened up a huge hole underneath Loki's cell; my freakout chamber.

"Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap," he yelled over the noise coming from the hole before ceiling it up again, "You get how that works?"

He pointed at Loki, "Ant."

He then he pointed at the button which would drop Loki into the steel trap.

"Boot."

Nick quoted the god of Mischief.

Loki laughed, amused, "It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me."

"Built for something a lot stronger than you" Nick supplied.

"Oh, I've heard"

Loki looked into the camera through which we were watching the interrogation through, "The mindless beast, makes play to be the man" Loki's eyes glittered, "And it's beautiful half-breed daughter. You yourself have taken a liking to her haven't you Director."

He wasn't questioning.

He was stating matter of fact.

He knew how to get to me, how to truly piss off Nick if he needed to.

"How desperate are you? You call on these lost creatures to defend you," Loki taunted.

Nick moved around the cage's surrounding area, "How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did."

Loki's eyes flashed pure glee, "Ooh. It burns you to come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is."

Nick turned, "Yeah, well, you let me know if Real Power wants a magazine or something."

He walked off out of view leaving Loki in his glass cell to stare at the ground.

* * *

Back on the Bridge everyone was quiet, "He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Dad stated sarcastically.

Steve nodded in general, "Loki's gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what's his play?"

Thor turned around from were he stood at the top of the table, "He has an army called the Chitauri, that none of Asgard nor any world know. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. Return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

Steve looked confuzzled, "An army, from outer space."

"So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for," Dad linked events together.

"Selvig?" Thor asked.

He was a friend from the first time he came here, Erik talked about him non stop.

"He's an astrophysicist."

Thor sighed, "He's a friend."

I got up and moved to the control panel, "Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours."

I was pretty sure Tasha lowered her head.

A few years back Agent Barton was sent to kill her, he made a different choice. I am Clint and Natasha's only true friend apart from Coulson.

"I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here," Steve pointed out, some what frustrated.

Dad shook his head, folding his arms, "I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him."

Thor clenched his jaw, "I don't care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

"He killed eighty people in two days" Nat and I stated together, all emotions in our voices lost.

"He's adopted..." Thor said quickly.

Oh. So now that he's killed 80 people, he's adopted.

Jerk...

"Iridium, what did they need the Iridium for?" Dad asked out loud.

Suddenly Stark appeared from a side entrance, "It's a stabilizing agent."

Stark turned and said something quietly to Coulson then turned back to us.

"Means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD," Tony patted Thor on the arm, "No hard feelings Point Break, you've got a mean swing," he moved next to me, not so subtly checking me out, "Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants."

He then asked the BridgeTechs to raise the monitors. Who all looked at me for confirmation.

I gave them a nod.

"That man is playing gallaga!" Tony anounced pointing at Agent Lane.

Steve looked at the billionaire in confusion.

"Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did."

Stark looked at one of the computer monitors in front of us and covered one eye.

Great impression Tony...

"How does Fury even see these?"

"He turns," I said stiffly not liking his stupid carefree attitude.

"Sounds exhausting."

He moved away from me and around the table, "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube."

I raised an eyebrow, "When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?"

"Last night," he shrugged, "The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

"Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?" Steve asked, trying to get to grips with Stark's babbling.

"He got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," Dad told us all.

"Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect," Tony helped out.

I know, Tony helping?

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet."

Tony smiled, "Finally, someone who speaks English."

"Is that what just happened?" Steve mumbled under his breath.

"It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster," Tony told Dad, 100% seriousness.

Dad smiled nervously, "Thanks..."

Nick walked in from one of the side wings as I spoke to Stark, "Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. We were hoping you might join him," I shrugged to him.

Nick walked over to me and stood next to me.

Steve looked up at us all, "Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon."

"I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys," Nick ground his teeth in annoyance.

Thor furrowed his brow "Monkeys? I do not understand."

Steve jumped up in his seat, "I do! I understood that reference..." he now looked embarassed.

Stark rolled his eyes at the Super Soldier.

Nick bent down to whisper in my ear, "I need you to go with your father and Stark. We can't have them knowing about Phase 2."

I slowly nodded before walking over to Stark and my father, "Come on ladies lets do some bonding over astrophysics in the lab."

Then I grabbed their wrists and pulled them to from the room.


	11. The Hulk isn't going to kill my husband

**The Hulk isn't going to kill my husband**

* * *

**A.N. Hello! So this is the chapter before everything goes titts up and the Helicarrier goes boom! Enjoy!**

**And remember, don't make the Hulk angry!**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

In the lab, Stark and Dad were working on the device to find the Tesseract

"The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process," Dad told Stark.

"If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops," Tony suggested.

What the hell, is a teraflop!

Dad chuckled to himself, "All I packed was a tooth brush."

"You know, you should come by Stark Towers sometime. Top ten floors, all R and D. You'd love it, it's candy land," Tony shrugged moving over to were Dad and I stood.

Dad smiled slightly, "Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of broke...Harlem."

Tony moved in between the both of us, "Well, I promise a stress free environment. No tension. No surprises."

Suddenly Stark poked us with electrical shock devices.

"Ow!" Dad yelped as I yelled, "Shit!"

Stark moved in front of us staring at us intently.

"Nothing?" he asked disappointedly.

Steve marched in through the doors, "Hey! Are you nuts?"

Tony ignored him, looking at the both of us

"You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?"

Do I look like I smoke weed?

Cap glared at Stark, "Is everything a joke to you?"

Tony shrugged, "Funny things are."

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offense, doctor, Ma'am," he looked sheepishly at me.

"No, it..it's alright. I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things," Dad fiddled with something.

I moved around the bench, "I only loose control of her if I'm 100% pissed off, otherwise I can Hulk out without issues anytime any place," I snorted at Starks disappointed face.

Tony decided that I wasn't any fun and turned to Dad, "You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut."

Steve flared his nostrils, "And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark."

"You think I'm not? Why did Fury call us and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us. I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables."

Suddenly it was like I was invisible.

"You think Fury's hiding something?" Steve asked Tony curiously.

"He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets. Much like China-May does," all three men eyed me suspiciously.

Crap...

Maybe less invisible and more translucent...

"We're telling you all that you need to kn-" I tried to explain, only to be cut off.

"It's bugging him too, isn't it?" Stark trusted a finger at Dad.

"Uh...I just wanna finish my work here and..." Dad kept his head down.

"Doctor?" Steve prompted.

"'A warm light for all mankind to share', Loki's jab at Fury about the cube," Dad removed his glasses.

Steve shrugged, "I heard it."

Dad pointed to Stark, "Well, I think that was meant for you. Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news."

"The Stark Tower? That big ugly...building in New York?" Tony glared at Steve.

Suck it up Stark!

"It's powered by Stark Reactors, self sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?" Dad asked.

Tony semi-shrugged, nodding, "That's just the prototype. I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now."

Dad agreed, "So why didn't SHIELD bring him in on the Tesseract project? I mean, What are they doing in the energy business in the first place?"

"I should probably look into that once my decryption programme finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files," Tony stated.

"WHAT?" I yelled at him, I knew my eyes flashed green, my finger tips we're tinted green, "I'm sorry, did you say...?"

Tony smirked at me, "Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide."

I'm going to fucking kill him! And his twatting tower!

He pointed a bag of blueberry's in his hand towards Steve, "Blueberry?"

Steve declined, "Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?"

"An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically not possible."

"I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war, and if don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them," Steve told him.

"Following is not really my style," he chucked a blueberry into his mouth

"And you're all about style, aren't you?" I hissed at him in anger.

"Of the people in this room, which one is; A) wearing a spangly outfit, and B) not of use?" he directed to Steve.

"Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?" Dad reasoned.

"Just find the cube," looking angry, Steve walked out of the lab.

Tony turned to me next, "And also who out of the people in this room; A) hasn't reported an issue to the Director, B) tried to stop the issue herself and C) not told her Daddy that she's married to the Director of SHIELD, who just happens to be older than him," Tony was giving me a shit eating grin.

Oh god. That motherfucking pantie sucking twat!

Yeah and so what Nick's older than my Dad!

Love beats age hands down!

As long as both people in the relationship are legal.

"I swear to god Stark I am going to kill you..." I spat at him.

He ignored me, "Married 3 years in two months right?"

I looked at my shell shocked Dad sheepishly, "I was going to tell you?"

His eye started to twitch.

I chuckled nervously, "Hahahaa... I've got to go report Stark..." I quickly ran put of the room; which is really hard in 6 inch booties.

* * *

Once I finally reached the Bridge I stopped running and opted to speed walk.

I hurried over to Nick, "Stark's ha-" he cut me off,

"Hacking into our systems? Yes I know lets go."

As we marched I told him about our little personal problem, "Stark told my Dad that we're married..."

He stopped briefly, "Stark? We're screwed" he stated.

I sighed, "Dad's eye started to twitch, that never was a good sign even before the Gamma Radiation incident."

"We can deal with it. Think positive. You're thirty years old, not thirteen. You're a grown woman who can make her own decisions."

Right. Okay. Positive.

The Hulk isn't going to kill my husband.

No.

No he isn't.

I'm going to use a rusty spoon to chop of Stark's balls while he sleeps.

Yes.

Yes I am.

He better sleep with both eyes open.


	12. Debris

**Debris**

* * *

**A.N. Sorry! I haven't updated for a few days and I'm sorry! But enjoy! **

**Oh, and I haven't given much thought to China's mother, but I will mention her in a chapter if there's an opportunity XD**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

We walked into the lab, Stark and Dad both glared at us slightly, "What are you doing, Mr. Stark?"

"Uh...kind of been wondering the same thing about you," Tony prodded a monitor.

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract."

Dad moved around the work bench, "We are, the model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

"And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase 2?" Tony asked bluntly.

Suddenly Steve appeared, carrying a Phase 2 gun, his face held the look of one when someone crapped on your cornflakes.

Well we truly are screwed. Well, I am. Seeing as Phase 2 is my responsibility.

Steve dropped it onto the bench next to him, "Phase 2 is SHIELD used the cube to make weapons."

Steve shot Stark a look, "Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me."

"Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're..." Tony cut me off.

"I'm sorry, MRS Fury,"

Oh jeeze...

Stark moved the computer screen toward the pair of us which showed the weapon blueprints, "What were you lying?"

"I was wrong, Director. The world hasn't changed a bit" Steve said harshly, clenching his jaw.

Thor and Natasha walked into the lab.

"Did you know about this?" Dad asked Nat.

She didn't show any emotion, "You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?"

Dad chuckled dryly, "I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed."

"Loki's manipulating you."

"And you've been doing what exactly?" Dad quipped.

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you," Tasha stated.

"I came because my daughter showed up, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy."

He came because of me?

Dad removed his glasses, "I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction."

"Because of him," I pointed at Thor.

"Me?" Thor questioned.

"Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge mass that levelled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, out gunned," Nick explained to them.

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet" Thor reasoned.

I snorted, "But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled."

"Like you controlled the cube?" Steve snapped sassily.

"You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war," Thor insisted.

Steve gave him an incredulous look, "A higher form?"

Nick huffed in frustration, "You forced our hand. We had to come up with something."

"A nuclear deterrent, cause that always calms everything right down," Tony rolled his eyes.

"Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?"

Steve tried to defend Tony, "I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep..."

"Wait! Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?"

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?" Steve retorted.

"I thought humans were more evolved than this," Thor questioned us.

"Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?" Nick and I said together, freaking him out.

Suddenly we all started talking over each other and arguing.

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos," Thor anounced.

"It's his M.O., isn't it? I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're...we're a time-bomb," Dad spat.

I turned to Dad, "Dad, you need to step away."

"Why shouldn't they guy let off a little steam?" Tony asked.

"You know damn well why! Back off!" Steve yelled at him.

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me," Tony squared of with Steve.

"Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist," Tony said automatically.

Steve snorted, "I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

Tony rolled his eyes, "I think I would just cut the wire."

Steve huffed in disbelief, "Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

"A hero, like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle," Tony snarled agressivly.

"Put on the suite, let's go a few rounds."

Thor laughs at them, "You people are so petty, and tiny," he eyed me up.

"Yeah, this is a team..." Dad said sarcastically.

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his..."

Dad cut off Nick, "Where? You're renting my room" Dad asked sourly.

"The cell was just..." Nick started.

Dad yelled, "In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know, I tried. I got low, I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?"

Everyone was now looking at Dad suspiciously, Nick unhooked his gun.

Like that could stop The Hulk.

"Dr. Banner, put down the scepter," Steve told him and he put down the scepter.

"Dad, the cell was built for me, a made by me. I go in there when I feel myself loosing control over Her. I rather be in a cell than put the Agents in danger," I explained to him as computers alarm went off, "She gets really pissed when I have my monthly, I have to have special giant fucking tampons made for her!" I yelled, making him grimace.

"Sorry, kids. You don't get to see my party trick after all" Dad moved to check the computer.

"Located the Tesseract?" Thor asked hopefully.

Tony moved to leave, "I can get there faster."

"Look, all of us..." Steve tried to reason.

"The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, no human is a match for it," Thor boomed.

Stark turned to leave but Steve stopped him, "You're not going alone!"

"You gonna stop me?" Tony asked rhetorically.

Steve squared off with him, "Put on the suit, let's find out."

"I'm not afraid to hit an old man," Steve flared his nostrils at that.

"Put on the suit."

"Oh, my God!" Dad exclaimed.

Suddenly the room exploded.

Metal, fire, wires everything was flung from and around the room I a whirlwind of chaos and debris.


	13. Are You Aliens?

**Are You Aliens?**

* * *

**A.N. Hello!**

**THE HULK IS RAMPAGING!**

**MicroSpider XD**

* * *

My mouth was filled with a sharp metallic tang of salty rust, a gash had slashed across my forehead and the blood was clumping in my eyelashes.

I could feel her coming.

Trying to emerge from where I had suppressed her deep within me. Never had I ever Hulked up so many times so close together and it was dangerous.

I could feel the shocks zipping through me, the pain ebbing forward.

Natasha was trapped under a pile of rubble and next to her was Dad, struggling with his own Hulk, his face scrunched, his body on all fours.

Nat was struggling, "Doctor? Bruce, you gotta fight it. This is just what Loki wants. We're gonna be okay. Listen to me," she tried to tug her leg, "China, you can control her. I've seen you do it before. You're both going to be okay," she tried promising.

I let out a scream, my back arching.

This was how it always started when she wanted to come out and play.

Put me through masses of pain, give me control, then take it all away and rampage.

Dad was trying to stop his own transformation, but we'd both started going green and gaining more muscle mass.

Nat kept tugging her leg, "We're gonna be okay. Right? I swear on my life I will get you out of this, you will walk away, and never..."

"You life?" Dad spoke, but it was him. It was The Hulk.

My ring. I quickly grabbed my left hand, ripped the ring from it, slid it over to Natasha and fell onto my front again as the transformation finished. Seams popped and clothes ripped, I was left in my stretch suit with bare feet.

Dad suddenly started transforming into the Hulk and he gave Natasha a knowing look before leaving the Hulk in charge.

I climbed to my feet, "Bruce," Natasha whispered, I kicked the rubble from off of her, she climbed up and stared behind me.

I turned to see a fully formed Hulk staring at me, "Dad..." I said slowly, my head starting to hurt.

He grabbed, me to him possessively, it was obvious I was his child. What with being giant and green.

Then he saw Natasha. He let out an earsplitting roar and that's when I knew I was gone.

The little spider was going to have two monsters after her.

* * *

What happened?

I wasn't sure.

Where was?

It looked like an abandoned warehouse and I was wearing nothing but my suit.

What the hell had happened?

Oh that right!

There was an explosion. She-Hulk took over. Hulk helped her chase Nat through the Helicarrier. Thor found them. The three of them started to fight with Thor. They destroyed a lot of expensive things. A jet started to shoot them. Shulkie and Hulk got pissed. They ended up crash landing here.

That means Dad's here!

I sat up quickly, then clamped my hand over my eyes, suddenly wishing I hadn't. My Dad was butt nude.

I'm now scarred for LIFE!

Pealing my hand from my eyes I could see Dad had woken up and now in a less open position, a security guard standing on the rubble, "You fell out of the sky."

Dad rubbed his eyes, "Did we hurt anybody?"

The guard shrugged, "There's nobody around here to get hurt. You did scare the hell out of some pigeons though."

"Lucky," I said, there eyes turned to me.

"Or just good aim. You were both awake when you fell," he told us.

Dad looked guilty, "You saw?"

The guard held up a pair pants, "The whole thing, right through the ceiling. Big and green and buck ass nude. Here..." he threw Dad the pants.

"I didn't think those would fit you until you shrunk down to a regular size fella," he told Dad as I averted my eyes.

"Thank you," Dad told him, I could hear he was putting on the pants.

"Are you aliens?"

I looked at the man, "What?"

He gestured around his head, "From outer space, aliens?"

"No."

"Well then, son, ma'am, you've got a condition."


	14. Smashing's Fun!

**Smashing's fun!**

* * *

**A.N. Enjoy SMASHING!**

**I UNDERSTAND WHY HULK DOES IT NOW! IT'S FUN!**

**Microspider XD**

* * *

Dad had managed to explain our 'condition' to the Security guard, who was really nice and lent me an old phone while Dad wondered around the warehouse to find some form of transport.

I quickly dialed the number I needed and it picked up on the first ring, "Agent Maria Hill speaking, Commander Banner is currently unavailable, I'll to take a message."

"Hill, I'm really not in the FUCKING MOOD! Put Nick on the phone, NOW!" I yelled at the woman, she pissed me off so much and I'm really hungry.

On the end of the line I heard a gasp then a huff, a whole lot of shuffling and then it stopped, "China?" Nick's voice came over.

I sighed in relief, "Yeah it's me baby, I'm with my Dad. We're fine, what's happening now?"

"Loki escaped, Stark, Rogers, Barton, Romanoff and Thor are in New York fighting off an extraterrestrial attack, can you get there?" He asked me. That second my Dad entered beside me, wheeling in an old motorcycle.

I smiled, "Tell Stark we'll be there soon. I love you baby," I told him, my Dad's face paled when he realized who I was talking to.

"I love you too, try not to get yourself killed," he chuckled quietly.

I rolled my eyes, "I got shot at from a plane then fell from the sky. I think I'll be okay."

"Shit..." He muttered under his breath, "Baby, they need you. There's a giant armored space worm, they can't break through the shell," he said hurriedly.

A giant armored space worm? Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder.

I ran over to Dad, "Okay,we'll be there soon..." Then the line was cut off.

Dad climbed on the motorcycle first and I got on behind, then placed the phone on the floor, "Giant armored space worm, we need to smash it," I told him, then we took off.

* * *

Turns out we weren't as far away as previously thought and we managed to find Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow and Thor pretty easily.

Looks like we got Barton back AFTER HE SHOT ME AND MY HUSBAND!

But I can't hold a grudge, it wasn't him. If it had been, then there would have been a world of pain going his way!

We stopped and got off the motorcycle, "So, this all seems horrible," Dad said, gesturing to the ruins of builds and fires.

Natasha looked at us, sporting a busted lip, "I've seen worse."

"Sorry," Dad apologized for our alter ego's actions on the Helicarrier.

Nat smiled slightly, "No, we could use a little worse."

Steve pressed his ear under his headwear, "Stark, we got them, Banner and Fury, just like you said."

We watched as Iron Man drew the giant worm ship towards us.

I get what he meant. It's giant, armored, space-y and looks like a spazy worm.

"I-I don't see how that's a party," Nat stuttered out, staring at the worm wide eyed.

Dad gave me a look and we started to walk toward the worm, "Dr. Banner, ma'am, now might be a good time for you to get angry."

"That's the secret, Captain," Dad started.

I smiled, "We're always angry."

We transformed into our Hulk's and smashed the giant worm head on with our fists.

It's armor started to fall off and Stark shot a lazer at a soft spot, making it blow.

Because I really needed alien blood matting my hair. But even I've got to admit that, that, was fucking awesome!

"Guy," Nat spoke slowly, looking up at the blue beam of a portal.

Then we watched as hundreds more giant worm ships and metal faced dudes that must be the chitauri entered through.

We all turned in on ourselves and I noticed we we're in a circle, even Hulk who seemed to understand the threat.

They all looked up at me expectantly, well I am the one most likely in charge, but not during and alien arm attack, not my thing.

I stared down at Steve, "Call it, Captain."

He nodded, "Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we're gonna use containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or your turn it to ash."

Clint turned to Stark, "Wanna give me a lift?"

Tony moved behind Barton, "Right. Better clench up, Legolas," Stark then lifted Barton up to the building.

Nice, Tony. Lord of The Rings reference.

"Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal, slow them down. You've got the lightning, light the bastards up," Cap directed Thor who swung Mjölnir and flew off, "You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here," Nat nodded, then he turned to me and Hulk, "And Hulks. Smash."

Hulk gave me a grin which I returned and we launched ourselves onto opposite buildings and started to smash the chitauri.

Y'know I see why Hulk does this so much.

Smashing's fun!


End file.
